I want to blog but I don't know how to start.

Okay now I've started I'm good.

A lot has been happening nowadays and most of the things happening make me frustrated and annoyed and even helpless. When I was studying for A's it seemed like time just stopped for three months but now I realise it didn't. So the shit hit the fan a few months ago and I'm only smelling the stench now.

Anyway nothing much happened in the past few weeks because I was busy falling sick and not to mention my papers ended really late so effectively I didn't have much time anyway. I fell sick after two post proms with a throat infection and my fever scared the daylights out of me. Recovering nicely now but tomorrow morning Imma have a flu vaccination for my Hong Kong trip so I have a feeling imma fall sick again.

I have 8 months left and I don't know what to do with the time.

I want to murder somebody very badly so someone please pass me a gun.

i hate being sick.

i hate going to my blog and finding my blog template all screwed up.

i hate staring at the address bar in my browser and not knowing where to go next.

yeongchuan. says:
hhaahaha what did you go back to malaysia for!
relatives is it?

winifred says:
haha my BIRTHDAY lah
i bet you forgot

yeongchuan. says:
HOLY SHIT
ARGHHHHHHHHHH



lolllllllllll

Facebook is driving me CRAZY.

I can't access my inbox, I can't see the confirmed guests for Kiwi's farewell, I CAN'T EDIT MY OWN BLOODY PROFILE. Signing in and out isn't helping. Some techie please save me :(

And my food processor (my trusty baking partner) just crashed two days ago :(

--

Anyway on the lighter note, since the prelims are over I CAN HAVE A LIFE NOW :D ION Orchard here I come :)

The person who changed my bluetooth name to 'Cloudy Sundays' should seriously own up :(

Do I have a 'Please give me shit' face?

Even my maid gives me shit, dammit :(

She shouted at me, telling me to clear my own dinner plate of food so she could wash (she always did this for me before).

She gave me a black face when I asked for my towel, insisting that it was in my room. When I finally found it in her room, she didn't even apologize for being wrong.

This coming from a person that talks on the phone 24/7, uses my computer to watch YOUTUBE, has her own personal TV in her room, has off-day virtually everyday and to top it off she gets PAID to do all this rubbish!

Please sack my maid for me :( and if you're a friend, please don't give me any shit :(

Trying to swim with a tampon

Today is not a sunny Saturday.

Therefore I have the right to mope around and be depressed.

That's not the only reason why I'm depressed though. It's my time of the month and I'm supposed to have my swimming lesson today. My mum refused to accept that I cannot swim when I'm having my period because she didn't want to waste the money that she already paid for my lesson fees, so she forced me to try tampons. She gave me a 5 minute crash course on how to insert tampons which I totally did not want to listen to, and then left me to my own devices.

I have tried tampons before, and I had perfectly good reasons to say no to tampons but then I thought, "Oh maybe things'll be better this time", so the obedient me decided to give it another go.

Turns out I was horribly wrong. I ended up with two wasted tampons (un-inserted) a very painful sensation you-know-where.

It used to be 'Once bitten, twice shy' but now it's 'Twice bitten, thrice WILL NOT TRY EVER AGAIN'.

And I'm supposed to go for a casting today but I had to turn it down because my very conservative mum refused to give me permission to go for it because I was required to bring a bikini. Sorry Davania, whoever you are :(

My mum is too much. :(

-

I think chilli is some sort of escapism. It's for food that either sucks, or does not taste good by itself. People who add chilli sauce to their food are trying to escape the reality of horrible food.

I'm having a really hard time doing my personal statement.

Unless you're really narcissistic I think you'd have a hard time doing it too. On one hand you gotta package yourself up real horrorshow to convince your future employers and all that cal, and on the other hand your conscience is begging you to stop because it's far too 'buay hiao bai' (don't want face).

I can almost hear the teachers in the Staff Room sniggering to themselves when they read our pathetic attempts at ego-boosting. :(

Sample Personal Statement:

W enjoys eating, sleeping and playing her Wii console like any other human being.

She is rely IT savy. She can use Paint. (Screw Photoshop, Paint rocks your socks) Aslo she cn type at a spede of 20wpm nd rely acurrately. That's awesum innit!

She enjoys baking. Her friends' food poisoning cases weren't caused by her. They were caused by.. uh, H1N1.


... or something like that :p Hey, who knows, they might accept me on the grounds that my personal statement is 'unique' lol.

Okay that's enough of ego-deflating, I shall get back to doing my real personal statement :)

Happy birthday LZL! :)

I'm ready to blog again :)

Anyway, I am going to settle my deferment soon. I promise. Once the parcel/ envelope of documents regarding my enlistment into the Malaysian government service comes, I will fill in the document as fast as my hand can write.

I bought two books today from Jusco's Harris (which is kinda like a Malaysian version of Popular) 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' and 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time' Haha I finished the first already - it was heart-wrenching but I think I cried more reading Kiterunner. I can't wait to start on the second :)

I can't bring myself to study nowadays. I get depressed everytime I look at my books. Chain and muzzle me and maybe I'll study.


it's so elusive, i could almost swear it was a lie

I just hit the jackpot.

I wonder if you have heard about the Malaysian 'NS' training where some malaysians, PRs included, are randomly chosen to go for 3 months of army trainig in a bid to defend their country.

... yeah, I just received the letter today o.o WA LAU, NOT FUNNY LAH! Seriously, what are the chances? My very evil brother was saying that he hopes I'll have to go for it when I'm having my A levels. -.-

Anyone knows what I can do? :(

Renovation sucks. Especially when it's not your own and you have to put up with all the noise pollution and at the end of the day you have NOTHING NEW in your house. Especially when you are having exams and you can't do any serious studying because it's so damn bloody irritating. I'm dying to snatch the drill/ screwdriver/ whatever noisy machine from the renovator's hands and drop it from the 24th storey.

_|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_

Okay now so where did I put that fucking piece of paper?

actually i don't think i'm looking for that, rather i'm looking for some reassurance, some black and white evidence that i'm still loved

Today was a bad day.

I thought I would go on a budget today so I went to order my food at the malay stall. It came up to $3.20 and I only had $2.60 in my wallet, which was a disaster. The boys later enlightened me by telling me that the chicken drumstick is 'f*cking expensive' because it costs $1 for one drumstick. Ordering nasi briyani rice didn't help either. The worst thing was, I couldn't even finish the food :( :( :(

Mental note: I will return the malay auntie $0.60 tomorrow and never order a chicken drumstick from the malay stall again.

Why can't the stalls here be like RV's? Where they sell grilled fish and spaghetti for an impossibly cheap price of $1.80? :( I swear, they run on deficit. And not to mention chicken-on-a-stick :(

I played poker today, sans money :)

Long distance II and one act was interesting too.


what happens when a chameleon crosses your path? how many years of bad luck will you have?

I am very irritated by Youtube. They have removed all official music videos from their site, and all that is left are covers and live versions. They don't even have the original song minus the video :( Ugh this is disgusting D:

Despite all this I want to dedicate some songs to people.

'March on' by Good Charlotte to the 2SD2 people who are running 2.4 tomorrow, though if you marched the whole way you'd probably fail. But you get what I mean.

'I'll Be There For You' by The Rembrandts to all my friends :)

'I'm Not Missing You' by Stacie Orrico to Jasmine. Be strong alright :)

and 'Unwell' by Matchbox Twenty to Sumzy. Get well soon :(

X-Men is so cool. Catch Wolverine quick!

I had so much on my mind before I came to this screen, but now my mind is totally blank.

I feel like Wemmick from Great Ex. London hardens me and I harden myself in response to London. But I'll survive. I'm just glad I'm meeting some normal people tomorrow :)

There's just so many things to do and think about and remember sometimes, and it's quite liberating to just drop everything and not think about anything (thank goodness I have short term memory)

I've been reflecting lately on myself and as you know reflection is hardly positive because usually you focus on the negative stuff and think of how to improve. So I've been thinking negatively about myself. But I can't remember it long enough for me to type it here so.

I'm going for soccer tomorrow, but just in case my maniacal yelling can't be heard; all the best guys. :)

:(

We were this close to making it.






but sometimes what's not yours, isn't yours.

Thanks for all the support, it was really overwhelming and I'm really touched. Thanks so much for CCAAB (you guys are a godsend), for coming up with the sports updates form so quickly. It was really, really efficient of you guys. The sports board was good, and moving it from that discreet corner in the walkway to the candeck got many people to notice it, though perhaps moving it a little earlier would have benefited us a bit more because our season was just very slightly earlier than the rest. Thanks for announcing the end of the season like you said you would. Thanks for respecting us and understanding that shooting isn't as easy as you think it is. Thanks for not insinuating that we merely stand there and shoot and therefore shooters are 'unfit'. Thanks for giving us a voice and enough attention so at least we feel like we're given credit for working so hard. Thanks for treating us amazingly well. :)

Thanks, (to a certain teacher) for doing such a great job of our training schedule that we could start effectively start training a few months before our actual competition, instead of a whole year.

Perhaps a bit too late for thanksgiving, but thanks anyway. And thanks so much.

So. I'm feeling the withdrawal symptoms of having too much time on my hands but I don't feel like I ever want to touch my gun again because of mental trauma. Not anytime soon, definitely. I've been a wreck for the past week; I really need a break.

Debrief tomorrow, not sure about the turnout but still I am hopeful.

I will not go on Facebook now.

I will not go to other blogs.

I will not go to the Shooting results page of singaporesports.sg to find out what happened yesterday.

I will not scratch my hives. (it's taking a lot out of me)

I will sleep early today.

I will not be late tomorrow.

I will try my best to 'break the world record' (quote courtesy of Coach Ho) :D

Here I am, the day before shooting nats, sitting at home being highly miserable because of the attack of the Hives. I can't even go to school on April Fools' :( I hope the freeze was successful :P

Anyway people, wish May, Shuyan, Cheryl and I good luck for tomorrow :) We've been training like mad (for a year) for this one day (or rather one hour and 15 mins) so oh well. Won't be expecting many supporters; #1 it's in the morning #2 the start of our season wasn't announced. We don't care. :) Hope all goes well for us :)

I think Paracetamol kinda puts you on 'safe mode' so you don't fall too sick. It saves you from being reduced to being stuck in bed and killing 10 trees by using a countless number of tissue boxes, so at least you can function at 50% and be productive.

I think Paracetamol is so much harder to swallow than my antibiotics, which is a nice brown and yellow. Paracetamol is white and scary and huge. I can never swallow Paracetamol in one gulp. It always dissolves in my mouth until it is half of its original size.

I think I need to start studying but I can't cos I need to focus on Nationals.

countdown: 8

Haha this post is really late but..



Thanks Chrislyn, Xue Yuan and Joy for that wonderful time running and training :) Though we looked really funny down at the CPA but it sure was fun :D

SHOOTING NATIONALSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS COUNTDOWN: 11 days

Gonna be training my ass off next week from Monday to Saturday. HomeTeam NS is like my second home now o.o

Screwed my AQ on Friday.

Disney on Ice was really good. It was romantic, it was dreamy, and was saturated with relationships that start off with love at first sight, and couples that ALWAYS end up happily ever after. (Isn't Ariel supposed to become foam on the sea? How come she got her kiss in the end?)

I have a sore throat from eating eclairs and durian :(

I'm meeting up with my 4L girls tomorrow :D

AND MARK HO, if you're reading this, I haven't changed my password yet o.o

Wilson, get well soon :)

NUS Open House was fun and thank goodness I stumbled upon Zihan, Hui Min Leon and Priscilla or I'd be wandering around alone. I tagged along with them to the Medicine talk and it made me glad I'm not considering medicine for uni.

I know, I know.. I haven't been blogging in the past few days but I suppose no one has the time to come online anyway since terms are nearing..

Anyway life's been a pile of dog poo recently. I'm having a problem - I can't seem to get people to be forthcoming in telling me the things I desperately need to know.

Okay I'm going to be really straightforward here. If you've a problem, just tell me. In my face. Don't ignore my messages or ignore whatever I'm saying. I mean, I've never really been the 'what's your problem' kinda person but seriously, this has got to stop.

Other than that I have nothing else to say thanks.

Thanks.

Life's been a mess lately, and I'm up to my eyes with 'to-do's', trying to find a balance but to only a small extent of success.

Something causes me to feel very irritated thus I shall pay a visit to my virtual journal to let it out. Because I understand fully that this can be 'viewed by people all over the world, 24/7', I will (attempt to) censor some of the important names. If the content below does not sit very well with you, please do leave me alone and go away. :)

The XY ghost*, in my opinion, is a product of self-deluded and snooty people in the upper castes of the XY hierachy. It is made up and almost non-existent. These people form only 10% of XY, but dictate what the XY ghost is because they have the right to, because they are 'high class', because they can express themselves really well by speaking their native language with a highly sophisticated accent. Thus we cannot say the XY ghost represents all the people in XY, because it fails to account for the other 90% of the population.

In Mushroom country, there are two singing competitions for the younger people, E Star and Jina Icon. E is the native language of XY, whereas Jina is greatly abhorred. Oh, how greatly they despise Jina. They poke fun at it, and find it amusing when someone attempts to speak it and fails miserably. They hate it so much that the advocates of Jina in XY (the braver souls) are ostracized and mocked at. They never eat together and they stay out of everyone's way, lest a mob comes and attacks them.

So back to my main point of contention. These two singing competitions occur simultaneously, and both competitions have a representative from XY, and it is hardly surprising that people flock to and idolise the winner of E Star, whereas the winner of Jina Icon has little coverage and almost no fame to speak of. One of the rulers of XY even told her not to expect him to support her.

*names have been changed to protect the identities of sensitive people

That's all I have to say. Infer all you want but I declare that I am in no way responsible for anyone's inferences. :)

MUG FOR CHEM CMONNN

Guess what, this is my 300th post (not including 242 posts on my previous one). So happy 300th post, blog.

so the good boys and girls take the so called right track
faded white hats
grabbing credits
maybe transfers
they read all the books but they can't find the answers

I rarely put lyrics on my blog, but this suits me perfectly now so I shall let the song do the talking.

testimonials results cip hours h3s multiple ccas overseas conferences seminars progress reports leadership positions

SSA shoot tomorrow, wish me luck

Welcome to a new year of mugging, homework, shooting, and gossiping.

Today wasn't the best start to the school year. I mean, how good can it be when you receive your progress report first thing in the morning, just to see that your grouchy and bitter hag of a teacher has thrown you a remark that you "tend to talk when the speaker is talking" (Is that even related? Hello, if I'm not mistaken teachers are supposed to comment on academic matters.) and that you "need to work harder for weaker subjects" (That is like, so DUH.)

Sitting in the hall for 3 whole hours on an uncomfortable chair is no joke.

And I swear, since forever, I have never completed holiday homework. Now I have to complete most of my homework, with deadlines. Goodness.

Not mention that I didn't eat any breakfast, and there were long queues in the canteen today so I missed brunch too, and I was starving like.. ****, and when I finally got around to eating lunch, I received news that the chicken rice stall serves only chicken breast meat from now on, and in addition to that they haven't reduced their prices.

The math teacher started on differential equations. Which I did not touch in the holidays. And she didn't even ask the class :( She only ever cares about the few people in class, and the slower people are neglected. Can you imagine, it's the first day of school and I already feel neglected.

I ended my lessons at 1250pm and shooting started at 430pm.

I shot really badly.

I went home and ate a miserable dinner. And my mum didn't call.

God this is such an mopey post I'm going to stop here.

But on a brighter note, I love my new school bag and my pullover :D the only perk in the day :(




I'm starting to doubt myself. Whether I can do it mentally, psychologically. Because I keep shooting like this and it's like frustrating because it's not freaking good enough. Because my attention span is so damn short and I keep talking and chanting to myself to distract myself from distracting myself if you get what I mean and it's failing like.. * because I shoot a 2 and it's game over, you see?

Goodbye.