it's just been a day, and i already feel all empty inside.

i guess when they say,"you wont miss something until it's gone" they're right eh?

i wont have any excuse to see the delta girls every tuesday or wednesday anymore.

: (

i'll miss you guys.

hello ive not blogged in days sorry : ( last few days of holidays mah, must give up on mugging and actually relax a bit. im seriously not cut out for mugging.

okay got a lot of ppl tag my board so i shall reply in case they say i ignore them. haha.

all the people who told me to cheer up: thanks dearies i love all of you : )
vic: im sorry i didn't go : (
beixin: nice seeing you too : D
ks: it was damn difficult la can >< cannot catch up de. but im getting interested in dance. haha. recommend me smwhr next time!
passer-by: really? can't see it cos im using mozilla, but okay i'll fix it :)

okay im a bit busy so yeah will post next time : D

the fireball disappears and
the street lamp is plastered
against black

pitter patter of soft feet
underneath brown material
she scurries

a shadow flits past and instinct
takes over as she faces it
a mere memory

her heart drumming at her chest
a throbbing mass of nothingness
it's already gone

knees touch ground as last wisps
come through her nose
she's dead

im depressed. the poem above sounds like i have a deathwish but i really dont im just.. sad.

im getting very very bored recently. and when i go online i read blogs. but ppl dont update regularly enough and it's stupid. everytime go there it's the same thing one. you ppl out there know of any blog that updates regularly? recommend lehh..

im feeling singlish today.

sometimes i feel inferior to other people. like im not pretty enough, im not smart enough, im not talented enough, i dont dress nice enough, im not tall enough etcetcetc.

IM NOT CONFIDENT ENOUGH.

sometimes i feel good sometimes i dont. bah. what is this. im probably pms-ing.

sometimes i feel that words are not enough lor. really. they're inadequate. expressions and PARAGRAPHS of words are more like it. like 'breathtaking'. compared to 'a sweeping look over the canyon awed her to no end' OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT LA.

AIYA i dunno la. my mum nagging at me to scram so i'll see you ppl next time.

hello.

nobody comes to my blog anymore : (

i shouldn't blog anymore. what a waste of braincells.


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okay fine. ahah. i dont care if you all read or not im still gna blog lol.

more often than not i feel like thr's 90% of worries in my head and 10% free memory space. maybe that's why my memory sucks so much. can't help it lah. i worry too much. i worry about stuff in the near future, the future, and the future future. i should really learn to heck care. therefore im hiring anybody to help loosen me up, to make me worry about things less. haha. no wages. the payment is my company. anyone?

is it possible for somebody to be so successful in inculcating THEIR thinking and THEIR values into you, so you become somebody like him/her? is it possible to trust someone wholeheartedly and so strongly to the extent that you believe everything that person says it right, and you no longer have your own will to challenge their opinion, even though you believe it is wrong? is it possible to listen blindly to that one person, and get so caught up in their ideals that you no longer have a life of your own?

yes, it's possible.


whatislove.
idontknow.
have i become so skeptical &cynical of love that i cannot look at it like normal people do?
what is my definition of love, exactly?
have the people around me destroyed my hope in love by saying there's a time to date and there's a time not to?
and have i put my wholehearted trust in them, and has it turned into my belief?
have i, because of my worries, made things difficult for somebody?
am i being unfair to somebody?
why do i look at mushy stuff and frown, when i am more or less in the same situation?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FREAKING BLOODY QUESTIONS THAT I CANNOT ANSWER?

...
it's currently 1:03AM. end of my wait for somebody's call.
goodnight.

i seriously need motivation can.

i find it impossible to study for long periods of time. heck, i find it hard to even study at all. i've been going over the o level a maths syllabus and im only up to chapter 6. it doesn't help that i have severe short term memory and i'd forget everything the very next day.

i. seriously. need. motivation.

anyway i'm up to my nose w books. okay not exactly, and it's ironic that prior to this i actually thought i'd be able to read more. but come holidays, i'm worrying about o levels and up to my nose revising instead. IRONIC CAN. but im trying, i really am. reading is love :)

"Tilt-A-Whirl" by Chris Grabenstein is good. really. the story takes you where you least expect it, and when you think you've hit rock bottom you fall some more. okay i probably gave you guys a lot of spoilers in that sentence but heck, dont think you guys are going to read it anyway. but you really should.

my favourite quote?

"Swearing is the sign of a limited vocabulary." John Ceepak, from above mentioned book.

HAHA. will serve to give me second thoughts on swearing in future, eh?

i did beatty sec sch e maths papers today. all my myself. with no motivation except maybe breakfast, a plate of mee goreng, a cup of sprite, a yakult, cuppa iced milo, and lunch. consumed over a period of time of course. note that the only sources of motivation (for me) consist of food.

oh and the other day i went shopping w hongru LOL. she wanted to get her BRIGHT yellow slippers and at first i didn't really like them but they grew on me and now i can't swtop thinking abt them haha. hongru you be careful k ltr i go your house steal LOL.

I WANT NAIL POLISH. transparent and white. and other pretty colours. oh shucks i sound like a bimbo. but that day i was looking at nail polish colours and wanted to buy so many of them that i decided not to buy any at all. im not making sense to some of you but i think some might get what i mean. rather than to give in to a little temptation it's better not to give in at all. it's a vicious cycle. it took all of my willpower though ><

digressing. yeah and one of the reasons why i decided not to buy was because i scared i put on my nails then very ugly. like that time i bought electric silvery blue nail polish cos i thought hey that's pretty cool, to have blue nails. of course at that point of time i didn't think that my nails would resemble those on frostbitten fingers that have turned a not-so-pretty purplish-blue. and so i bought at and it's still sitting in my drawer waiting to be used.

anybody up for blue nails?