it was a maj screw up. :(

proposals not printed in time; chaos in nc room; talk with TO; camp started late.

ppl running around like headless chickens; dunno what to do; lots of calling; fall behind schedule like mad; things not done; ppl hate _&_.

ppl at the top dunno what to do next; ppl below dunno what to do is a result; nothing much done; ppl hate _&_.

food was a problem; not enough solid fuel and NO matches for field cooking; mad running around like headless chickens; no choice cadets have to starve; ate bread like siao for supper; ppl hate _&_.

ug camp consent form end time changed to 2 pm; cadets never listen; tell their parents come at 1215 anyway; parents come and kajiao kajiao say why we never let their children off punctually; TO have to cancel POP; no internal promotion; fucked up shit; ppl hate _&_.

ppl at the top BLUR, totally BLUR; never instruct ppl below what to do and how to mark for tests; ppl dunno how to teach &mark juniors; juniors all FAIL; have to do retest during normal activity; ppl hate _&_.

NO POP; no glory for best cadets; no zhuai3 ceremony to witness &to march in; parents think ncc is crap; ppl hate _&_.

NO INTERNAL PROMOTION; specialists are pissed as they initially looked forward to it; low morale; ppl hate _&_.

ppl who are slackers &are anti-almost-everything-in-the-world never do anything; never contribute; short of USEFUL manpower; ppl hate _&_.

_ and _ you all can guess who lah huh. wont say.

dont understand why some ppl must always dig out previous misdeeds to broadcast to everyone at the most inappropriate time when all of us are sick and tired and the last thing we wanna hear is that person's complaining about us. it's the march camp, it's bleeding 1 am in the fucking morning, all of us just want to go to sleep thank you very much. what about the chairs and the pellets, well fuck that you can tell me about that tomorrow morning when im in the right frame of mind to talk to you.

and hello. no pop means no pop ar. what's the meaning of this. newsflash, pop for our march camp is damn impt the glory the zhuai-ness the HONOUR. just because some parents complain to you to please hand over their kids doesn't mean you can't defend us &tell them there's something more important to do that will let your kids have a sense of accomplishment for having campleted the camp, which is far better than getting your precious babies back for two hours early. i know you miss your little darlings but come ON.

why 'one for all all for one motto' should be kept.
1) because it is the motto of OUR ncc unit and if your darling babies can't take it fine get them outta ncc and outta my sight thank you very much we dont want sissies and fragile poopies anyway.

2) because standard cannot be compromised by the changing of times &complaints by some ignorant parents. simple as that.

3) because all cadets in the ncc abide by this motto, and if you want to form an opposition party, be prepared to face some 160+ very angry people on the other side.

4) because we will not NOT abide by this motto just because you complained; what does that show of us? that we're cowards who dont have our own stand. that we are easily wavered by ill-informed outsiders who do not know a single thing and yet have the cheek to question our credibility. and if for fleeting moment you actually thought that you could abolish our motto by simply complaining that it's "pervasive", well let me tell you that's not gna work. it's in us. and you can't take it outta us.

to my school, lemme give you some advice. if you actually started caring about us students, listening more to us, not supressing us just so you could achieve your own aims, maybe we might actually be happier. think of our feelings, school. we dont exactly like year 123 but SEC 4. ostracize us until like that. you think we happy meh.

to my TO, instead of forcing us to see YOUR pov, why not have a look through ours. you dont understand our resentment, our frustration. you just do as you like and restrict us. you think we're happy?

no corporal punishment just because parents are around. why not just heck the parents and let them complain as they wish? parents are around; so FUCKING what? STOP TRYING TO MAKE FUCKING PARENTS HAPPY LAH, WAHLAU. THEY VERY BIG MEH? THEY CAN SACK YOU MEH?! not as if they can do anything about it right. ncc IS supposed to be tough, for goodness sake. JUST EXPLAIN LAH. what's the importance of UG what's the importance of this and that. if you dont waste so much breath on trying to explain to us that the fucking parents are always right, maybe you could have reserved more breath to talk to the parents.

also, i think you have a superb and unpralleled sense of judgement. just because of one misdeed, you condemn that person for eternity. previous pc &perfectly capable and competent; currently gym instructor. previous asm, best in platoon in terms of standard; currently no post. previously ulu person &because of your firm personal conviction that he is "meticulous"; currently head of unit, presently screwing up the unit real bad. what a good sense of judgement you have.

you sense resentment? HAH. high time you did.

to the idiot who is currently screwing up the unit; this march camp should shake you from dreamland &it should dawn on you that you are totally, absolutely, unquestionably, simply INCOMPETENT. and since that is so can you please do not be so selfish as to keep all the instructions &info that the TO provides to yourself and LET THE OTHERS HAVE A SAY IN DECISION MAKING, BECAUSE YOUR DECISIONS ARE CRAP AND IF YOU MAKE ANY MORE OUR WHOLE UNIT MIGHT JUST COLLAPSE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

im losing faith.

finally a day i can practise piano in peace because i have no homework. *heaves a sigh of relief*

tomorrow's x-ctry, and i haven't ran in like three months so i have no idea how im even going to get a placing for comptitive running. im probably going to be the last or something. save me : (

wish everyone luck for xctry tmr! :D

i think im becoming a workaholic. not exactly one, but i like to have something to do, something to occupy myself with. everyone does. &i like to have an aim on where im going, what im doing. hence i do not like to go out and walk aimlessly. window shopping is okay. but only if i have something in mind.

im sorry lah : ( paranoia's taking over and i really dont like going out; i feel so restricted it's suffocating me. im worried about this im worried about that. im not happy. :( really im not. i can't let down my guard.

this is going to drive me nuts one day. &im sorry it's causing ya distress. but please understand.

maybe im just not suitable for you.